It's crazy how just driving by my old house can make me feel so much better. It represents everything that is pure and simple in life. When all I had to worry about was if I should play dress-up or ride my bike. I miss that little white house on Hampshire Rd. I miss being able to ride my bike around the block, play soccer in the backyard, and take walks to Dairy Queen in the summer.
I wasn't worried about the exam I have on Thursday, that paper I have due tomorrow or how I'm ever going to schedule for all of the classes I need to take. I lived in the moment, not afraid of anything. Why can't I still be that fearless? Why can't I just say what I want to say?
These days it feels like I have so much to say, but can't find the words to say it. I'm scared of the possibility of rejection. It's the most frusturating feeling in the world to know exactly how you feel and what you want, but being too scared to go for it. It's almost as if every time I have the opportunity to show how I really feel I tense up and forget what to say.
I wish I could talk to that little girl and see how she does it. How does she trust in her own ability? How does she see the beauty in herself even when no one else does?
It's time for me to start living life like that little girl: fearlessly (if that's even a word). I'm ready to speak up and say how I feel. If that results in rejection so be it.
It's time to live out loud.
Peace & Love,
Kate
